Confidence Comes After Preparation

Nervous Is Normal. Unprepared Is Optional.

It was over 20 years ago.

Here I was making the jump from running workshops with small groups, to standing on a stage in front of large audiences. The kind of jump that is both exciting and terrifying. Yikes!

Briefly to set the scene… this was my first real conference keynote. Health industry. Really big crowd. I’m scheduled fourth.

So, I arrived at 7.30am, checked the AV, got the feel of the room and, if I’m honest, hoping I could somehow steady my nerves. Pacing backstage, rehearsing my intro, the doubts rolled in. Every other speaker was a highly qualified clinician. I was the so-called “leadership and culture guru”.

These people are serious professionals.
What am I doing here?
They’ll see right through me.
This gig will be over before it starts.

Then. The first three speakers were introduced by the emcee as they walked on stage. Each opened with a version of, “I’m so nervous” or “I’m just a nurse,” then they proceeded to read their papers verbatim. Heads down. Slides packed with small text. Very little connection.

I’ll admit it. I felt a touch of Schadenfreude. The German word for taking pleasure in witnessing someone else’s misfortune!

“You’re terrible, Muriel,” I muttered to myself.

Was I a bad person for feeling this? Or just relieved that (by comparison), I won’t get crucified when it’s my turn?

Then my name was called.

Terrified! But I was determined not to just read my presentation. I spoke. I told stories. I used metaphors. I shared ideas and I left a few practical templates that people could use.

It wasn’t polished. It was clunky. But I believed it landed and that there was a connection with the audience.

That day crystalised something that I still see play out today.

Most people don’t struggle with presenting because they lack confidence. They struggle (and can’t lift their head) because they haven’t prepared and rehearsed enough.

I’ve watched some very capable leaders fall into familiar traps. Reading to the audience. Apologising out loud for nerves. Hiding behind busy slides. Just hoping to get through.

The audience didn’t come for our nerves. They came for something useful and meaningful.

Presenters who connect most aren’t necessarily the flashiest. But they are the most prepared. They’ve practised. They’ve rehearsed. And, they know their material well enough to stay present, rather than remain glued to their notes.

They still feel nervous. However, they just don’t lead with it!

That’s a lesson I learned early, while waiting backstage at a health conference hoping that I wouldn’t be exposed, and where Nervous Is Normal. Unprepared Is Optional.

And yes… I’m still learning it now.

Wishing you a great week of preparation and rehearsal for whatever stage you’re stepping onto next, big or small.

Richard Dore
CEO - Director of Partnerships
Proteus Leadership