The Conversation You Avoid Today Gets More Expensive Tomorrow

Great Leaders Nip It In The Bud.

Some time ago, I read a great article by Peter Fuda about the cost of not addressing an underperforming team member.

One line resonated and stayed with me:

“A team does not rise to the level of aspired excellence; it drops to the level of tolerated behaviour.”

That is a powerful reminder, because one of the most common leadership mistakes is not having a difficult conversation go badly.

It’s about not having it at all.

Most issues don’t begin as major problems. A behaviour starts to slip. A deadline is missed. Someone’s attitude changes. A team member begins cutting corners, irritating others… all quietly lowering the standard.

The leader notices. Then waits.

Sometimes waiting because we ‘like to be liked.’ Leaders don’t wake up thinking, “I can’t wait to have this difficult conversation.” We want good relationships. We want harmony. And, we want people to think that we are nice people.

Sometimes we default to our early conditioning - Don’t rock the boat. If you haven’t got anything nice to say, then don’t say anything. Maybe it will sort itself out.

Well, it doesn’t.

Sometimes we simply do not have the skills.

This is the part that’s often misunderstood. What looks like a confidence problem, is frequently a competency problem first.

If you don’t know how to open the conversation… Frame the issue. Describe the impact. Listen properly. Agree on a way forward. Follow-up with consequences of no change. Then, of course you are very likely going to avoid it.

Because waiting comes at a big cost.

Small issues gather history. Other people notice. Standards begin to shift. Resentment builds. Your good performers start checking out and worse still, think about leaving. What could have been a short, respectful course correction some three months ago, suddenly becomes a major performance issue. Now with far more emotion attached to it.

This is why great leaders nip things in the bud. Not aggressively. Not carelessly. But early.

There is both an art and a science to these conversations. The art is in the timing, tone and emotional intelligence. The science is in having a structure and being clear about the issue. Then understanding the impact and following up with what needs to happen next.

The earlier you act, the easier the conversation becomes!

So, if there is a conversation that you know you need to have, don’t wait for more frustration, more evidence or more damage.

Have it while the issue is still small.

Because leadership is not about avoiding discomfort. It’s about preventing discomfort from becoming dysfunction.

Wishing you a week of addressing what matters, early and well.

Richard Dore
CEO - Director of Partnerships
Proteus Leadership