Near-Naked Vulnerability

When Rituals Get Disrupted

It was late Sunday afternoon. Deep in a Melbourne winter.

Following my pre-dinner swim ritual - I headed to the pool which was gloriously empty. Technically it was heated but let’s just say, it’s "not freezing" rather than warm.

The upside? Kids steer clear. Winner, winner!

Living in the CBD, what sealed the deal for apartment life was the ‘resident-only’ 25-metre indoor lap pool, complete with a private communal garden. Very fancy!

So, twenty laps later, I continued my routine reward: hot outdoor shower, followed by five minutes in the steam room. Dinner had been cooked earlier, and with a glass of wine waiting upstairs… life was good. I closed my eyes.

Then the door opened.

A fully clothed man (that I didn’t recognise), stepped into the steam room. He shut the door, planted himself in the doorway, with hand still gripping the handle - and just stared at me.

Now to be clear. I’m alone, barefoot, and with just my ‘togs’ on. He’s in boots and a parka…  saying nothing.

My lizard brain kicked in. So this is how it ends, I thought. Murdered in a Steam-room! Assessing the scene I thought: Could I take him down on a slippery tile floor while soaked and scared?

Re-engaging my logical brain, I used an old mindset trick: “Why would a reasonable person be behaving like this - right now?

Answer: He’s not reasonable. He’s clearly a psychopathic serial killer and about to randomly attack me!

Then, as if on cue, a second fully clothed person suddenly appeared through the glass - and also entered the room. Puffer jacket, scarf, boots. Two of them now. Both silent. And both staring and rubbing their hands manically. Yikes!

“G’day,” I offered, trying to sound casual. All I got was a nod.

“What’s happening?” I blurted. “I’ve never seen people use our sauna with all their clothes on!”

“Oh sorry,” finally one said. “This must look weird. We’re staying at our mate’s place upstairs and just had a ciggy out in the garden - it’s bloody freezing. Thought we’d warm up for a bit!”

Turns out that they weren’t murderers. Just cold! Unaware that they’d just invaded my very vulnerable, and sacred space.

I didn’t know whether to laugh, or to scold them for their complete lack of social skills. Or, just be grateful that I had survived my imaginary murder!

So, through all this here’s what stayed with me: no matter how well you’ve trained your brain to stay calm and charitable, some moments will throw logic out the window. People are weird and they will do odd things. And when our rituals get messed with, we’ll feel oddly naked - even when we’re not in our Speedos!

So, keep enjoying the benefits of great rituals - just be ready for the occasional gate-crasher.

Wishing you a week of uninterrupted positive rituals… and fewer fully clothed and menacing strangers in small steamy rooms.

Richard Dore
Co-CEO - Director of Partnerships
Proteus Leadership