Would You Rather… Comfort or Growth?

Choosing the courage to have conversations that matter

"The worst kind of feedback is none at all - that’s when silence becomes the enemy of growth." - Kim Scott, Radical Candor

We’ve all played the Would You Rather? game.
Would you rather… wrestle a crocodile or, fight off a shark?
Would you rather… never eat fruit again or, only eat meat?

Sure, it’s silly - but it’s entertaining!

Here’s one though that cuts a little closer to the bone:
Would you rather face 20 minutes of discomfort every week… or live with unresolved conflict indefinitely?

For so many of the clients that I work with, there’s a quiet truth that speaks the loudest in most workplaces:
We are conflict avoiders! We choose comfort over short-term discomfort – all at a great cost!

When we avoid conversations that matter - those awkward, emotionally charged, truth-telling moments - we aren’t buying peace;

We’re allowing it to all grow in silence. Here it becomes harder to name. Harder to solve. And it becomes far more damaging long-term.

It’s natural to dodge discomfort. We’re tribal creatures hardwired for connection, so that we can fit in. With that also comes the instinct to preserve harmony - or at least the illusion of it. We worry about rocking the boat, being misunderstood, or making things worse.

We especially fear getting predictable blowback from that ‘extreme toxic person’ - the one who ironically needs to be called out the most! As we know, ‘people only do what they do because we let them!’.

So, we settle. We choose comfort over courage.

But avoidance is never neutral. It’s a decision. One that trades short-term comfort, for long-term dysfunction and drama.

And in our heart of hearts, I think we’ve all learned this the hard way:
The conversations that we’re avoiding are almost always the ones that hold the greatest potential for transformation.

Not just for the other person - but for all of us.

Having Conversations That Matter is not something that we’re born knowing how to do.

It’s an art. It’s a science. It’s a muscle that we need to train.

Because once people are equipped with the right mindset, the right language, the right tools and the right intention - once we know how to best prepare, navigate, and stay grounded in high-stakes conversations - then something shifts.

People lean in. They choose the short-term discomfort. Even when emotions run high, and opinions might vary.

And that’s when real change happens - the kind that drives better behaviour, stronger performance, and builds greater cultures with more meaningful results.

So…
Would you rather… keep things comfortable?
Or, take the risk that might just change everything?

Wishing you a successful week of navigating some tough but transformational conversations.

Richard Dore
Co-CEO - Director of Partnerships
Proteus Leadership