The Leadership Paradox
It is my contention that life is a paradox and that in fact, leading people is one big continual paradox!
In simple terms, a paradox is when you are confronted with two ideas that initially appear to contradict each other, but they are both universally true at the same time.
To be an effective leader you must be Driven by getting the right stuff done and also be Empathetic, whilst building highly functional relationships. Not either or, but both. This is just one leadership paradox that we need to embrace as we navigate our rapidly changing workplace environments.
In order to lead more successfully, paradoxically we need to be:
- Confident and Humble
- Decisive and Flexible
- Assertive and Collaborative
- Strategic and Operational
- Visionary and Detailed
- Demanding and Civil
Leading with two opposing ideas in the mind at the same time can initially ‘mess with your head’ and feel counterintuitive. However, when you investigate more deeply, this makes complete sense. It also helps to challenge us from ‘blindly’ holding on to ‘one truth’ that locks us down into having only one option at our disposal.
Making a conscious choice to live and lead your life through the world of paradoxes is like giving a colour blind person new glasses to see the world in colour. Imagine the transformational impact for all leaders if they were to have a new, full range of colour vision!
We move from being a fixed mindset person that only sees the world in black and white terms, to an open-minded person who sees that the world is full of options. It transforms divisive and limiting situations with an ‘either/or’ default response, to one where you can become a ‘Yes, AND’ person. Paradoxes are our superpower to live a full and authentic life!
Everything Has Changed. Nothing Has Changed.
A great example of two contradictory ideas that are true, both at the same time, is around leading change.
Everything Has Changed – we are now living what’s called the 4th Industrial Revolution. Technological advancement has put us in unprecedented disruptive times that means change is now exponential and radically changing the way we live and work.
Nothing Has Changed – as humans we have always experienced change in our lives. We have continually evolved and adapted to survive, thrive, and stay relevant. In fact, the leadership principles around motivating and engaging people remain the same and have never changed!
By embracing this leadership paradox where ‘everything has changed and nothing has changed’, we can more effectively lead change. By honestly acknowledging that the amount of change that is happening right now is overwhelming and tough on people whilst giving people hope, by trusting their incredible capability to adapt and become positive change champions.
The Hard Way is the Easy Way Paradox
There is a popular Stoic quote by Jerzy Gregorek about your life of choices, which goes like this:
“Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.”
What Gregorek is highlighting is the paradox of decision making in life. Basically we can do the hard work now for an easier life later, or we can take the easy comfortable option now but suffer greatly later in life.
One of the biggest paradoxes in life is for us to stop wasting our energy trying to hack the system for an easy quick fix. We need to make uncomfortable decisions early and do some ‘Hard Work’ – slowing down now to invest for long-term sustainable gains.
Author James Clear beautifully highlights this paradox on making life decisions in his post:
The Easy Way is the Hard Way
Strangely, life gets harder when you try to make it easy. Exercising might be hard, but never moving makes life harder. Uncomfortable conversations are hard, but avoiding every conflict is harder. Mastering your craft is hard, but having no skills is harder. Easy has a cost.
So, we need to embrace this life changing paradox – being comfortable being uncomfortable!
The Paradox of Leading ‘Perfectly Imperfect‘ People
Whenever I ask leaders these two questions ‘What do you love and what frustrates you about your role?’ The universal response for both questions, my people!
Here’s another paradox, People are Great AND People Suck, both at the same time!
As we like to say at Proteus, we are all Perfectly Imperfect! So leading people is a paradox. It is the most privileged of roles that we have as a leader, AND it is the most challenging.
Ultimately our job as a leader is to create more leaders (another paradox). To coach and assist these perfectly imperfect people to become the best versions of themselves, while we assist them reaching their full potential.
Because people are ‘perfectly imperfect’, they will continue to drive us bonkers, AND they will give us joyous moments with the most thrilling rewards.
Binary Thinking versus Paradoxical Thinking
Thinking in a binary way is great in an emergency and can serve you well in the short-term sometimes, if you need to make a quick decision. However, it is my contention that living and behaving in a binary way long-term is dangerous and a fool’s game.
When we become binary in our thinking especially when we’re tired, stressed or time poor, we can easily default to seeing the world in ‘Black or White’. In the last two decades with the advent of social media, unfortunately in many cases, this has exacerbated our binary world by creating echo chambers. You only hear one side of the story (where the extreme opinions dominate) which results in divisive subgroups.
It becomes a fight. It’s us, or them. It’s either our way, or the highway. It’s we win, they lose. We’re right, they’re wrong. This type of thinking and behaviour is not leadership, it’s a train wreck waiting to happen!
The ‘Tyranny of the OR‘ versus the ‘Genius of the AND‘
Being human, we need to resist the temptation of defaulting to binary thinking in either/or terms, believing that we must choose between two options.
In Jim Collins’ book ‘Built to Last’, he called this the ‘Tyranny of the OR’. Thinking that “reflects a deeply ingrained belief that we must choose between two starkly opposed alternatives”. Collins’ argues that this type of thinking limits creativity and places unnecessary constraints on decisions. It limits our ability to innovate and adapt.
However, living and leading your life through paradoxes, the reality is that both options can not only coexist, but they also complement each other.
“Highly visionary companies liberate themselves with the ‘Genius of the AND’ – the ability to embrace both extremes of a number of dimensions at the same time.”
– Jim Collins
That is why thinking and behaving through the paradigm of ‘The Leadership Paradox’ is the game changer. When you work proactively with this way of thinking it becomes a positive and powerful innovative force.
More Paradoxes from Jim Collins’ Research
Jim Collins and his research team from ‘Good to Great’ fame, discovered that the best leaders were what they called ‘Level 5 Leaders’. They displayed a paradoxical blend of ‘Humility and Will’. These leaders are described as having a paradoxical blend of characteristics, being ‘Shy and Fearless’ and ‘Modest with a Fierce and unwavering commitment to high standards’.
The Window AND The Mirror is another Paradox where Level 5 Leaders take full responsibility when things go wrong – they look into the mirror and never blame. When things go well, they humbly give credit to their team by looking out the window.
They also discovered ‘The Stockdale Paradox’. This is a technique used to navigate challenging and ambiguous times, by combining the ability to ‘confront the brutal facts of your current reality, while simultaneously maintaining ‘unwavering faith that you will prevail in the end’, no matter how distant and challenging that is.
As we can see, the leadership literature and research are dominated by the success of embracing leadership paradoxes. To lead well, we need to work on becoming the best authentic version of ourselves by leading our personal lives through the prism of paradoxes.
Be The Best Version of YOU – Standout To Fit In
Brené Brown (now a famous global author) believes that embracing and navigating paradoxes is an essential part of living a wholehearted and meaningful life. In her book ‘Braving the Wilderness’, she talks about the paradox of belonging. The idea is that in order to truly belong, we must be willing to stand out and be different.
“True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to BE who you are.”
– Brené Brown
She explains that when we try to fit in and conform to the expectations of others, we end up feeling disconnected and unfulfilled. However, when we embrace our unique qualities and perspectives, we can find a sense of belonging in communities that accept and celebrate us for who we are. Where we embrace the paradox of belonging ‘Everywhere AND Nowhere’ at the same time.
As author and black US activist Maya Angelou states, ‘The price is high. The reward is great.’ True belonging is not passive. It’s not fitting in. Nor is it selling out because it’s safer. It’s a practice that requires us to ‘get uncomfortable’ and ‘be present with people without sacrificing who we are’.
Now that we have discovered that life and leading people is one big paradox, we can be comfortable sitting in the discomfort of having more than one reality.
Life can feel hopeless AND it’s full of amazing opportunities. People will continue to drive us bonkers with their annoying imperfect behaviours AND they are full of amazing potential.
Yes, you will have moments of disappointments, regrets and self-doubt AND also knowing that you have the courage and the capacity to create a better future version of you and your people.
Remember, people are Perfectly Imperfect. You are Perfectly Imperfect. We are all Perfectly Imperfect!
So, what do you need to work on to become a YES, AND person? It’s someone that switches from being binary and divisive, to seeing the world with a full colour range that has incredible opportunities and options.
Try doing this for you, your workplace and your community – it’s a much better transformational world to live and lead in.
“The mark of a wild heart is living out the paradox of love in our lives. It’s the ability to be tough and tender, excited and scared, brave and afraid – all in the same moment. It’s showing up in our vulnerability and our courage, being both fierce and kind.”
– Brené Brown
Richard Dore
CEO
Proteus Leadership