The stories we tell ourselves about leadership

You can either be a passive victim of your circumstances or an active hero in your own story.
– Joanna Barsh

Growing up as a kid on a dairy farm in Gippsland, Victoria with eight siblings, leadership was the furthest thing from my mind. The expectations were clear: leave school at 15, get a job – preferably a trade, and get on with it.

In our small country community, ambition was viewed with suspicion. Anyone in authority was often mocked as being a Fancy Pants! The unspoken rule was simple: never get ahead of yourself! By the time I was in my 20s, this mindset had taken hold. I was cynical, dismissive and if I’m honest, resentful of ‘those people’ in positions of authority.

When I started being asked to step up into supervisor roles, my gut reaction was… resistance. I didn’t want to be one of ‘those wankers’ who bossed people around. I thought I was protecting myself from judgment. In reality though, I was standing on the sidelines, too afraid to get involved or take accountability.

Slowly, then suddenly, I realised that I had become the very thing I hated: a cynic – negative, critical, and unwilling to contribute. It was a wake-up call. I realised that I no longer had the right to complain about bad bosses or broken workplaces. If I wanted a better environment, then I had to step up and lead it. I had to stop hiding and get into the arena.

As Brené Brown so powerfully puts it,

Management was invented to solve a very specific problem – how to get semi-skilled employees to perform repetitive activities competently, diligently and efficiently.

And courage is what leadership is all about – putting aside cynicism, showing up, and embracing both the privilege and the pain of leading.

The Call to Lead

Leadership is not about a title or a designation. It’s about impact, influence and inspiration. Those who step up to lead, do so knowing it’s a demanding road but also knowing the rewards – both personal and professional – are profound.

Perhaps it’s time for each of us to answer that call? Whether we hold a formal title or not, leadership is a choice – it’s a decision to serve, to inspire, and to make a difference.

Because leadership is ultimately, a privilege. And the world needs more leaders who are willing to embrace it.

The Changing Landscape of Leadership

The landscape of leadership has shifted dramatically. As Gary Hamel observed,

But today’s workplaces require something far different: leaders who inspire, uplift and engage. Leadership has evolved from rigid authority to dynamic collaboration. It demands emotional intelligence, adaptability, and a willingness to navigate ambiguity.

No longer can leaders rely on their titles or authority to command respect or even influence. They must earn it through integrity, vision and impact.

Where Have All The Leaders Gone?

So, where have all the leaders gone? The reasons appear complex.

One reason might be that we are scared – scared that we don’t have what it takes, or fearful of what leadership demands. Perhaps it’s time to stop over-glorifying leadership, and to start demystifying it.

Too often, leadership is mistaken for power when, at its core, it is simply the commitment to influence and serve others. Yet many shy away from leadership because they’ve been burned by a bad boss – whether it was a micromanager, an indifferent or toxic leader, or the ‘too nice’ manager who avoided accountability.

These negative experiences can create a distorted and unappealing view of leadership, even making it seem daunting. But how unfortunate it is that the presence of a few bad bosses overshadows the many inspiring, capable leaders we’ve encountered.

Instead of deterring potential leaders, these experiences should serve as motivation – to step up, redefine leadership, and prove that it can be done differently.

The truth is that great leaders aren’t born – they’re made. They’re all around us, often flying under the radar, quietly demonstrating humility, serving their teams and focusing on shared goals.

Great leaders are those who embrace both the privilege and the challenge of the role. They exemplify that leadership is not about authority but rather about responsibility and growth.

Leadership Action

As Tina Fey so aptly put it, “You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.” At its heart, leadership is about action. It’s not about waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect title, or the perfect conditions.

Leadership requires courage – the courage to step up, take responsibility and trust that you’ll figure it out along the way. It’s not about being fearless; it’s about recognising the privilege of leading and taking the leap anyway.

The question isn’t whether you’re ready to lead, but will you take the leap? Because when you do, you create something that’s bigger than yourself: you create a legacy of service, growth and impact.

Fearlessness is not the absence of fear. It’s the mastery of fear. It’s about getting up one more time than
we fall down.
– Arianna Huffington

Richard Dore
CEO – Proteus Leadership