Connect Before You Correct.

The four words that might just change the way you lead.

I love it when someone takes something that can often be incredibly complex and then makes it beautifully simple. And recently, I witnessed exactly that.

While running our Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Leader half-day program, I was thrilled to have the chance to reconnect with a senior leader who has been a familiar face at Proteus events for many years.

A terrific human being, and a natural people person. Someone who genuinely understands what good leadership looks like.

He'd recently taken on a new senior leadership role in a different organisation, and he'd booked himself along with half a dozen of his leaders into this EI workshop.

As we worked our way through the session, exploring the fascinating (and sometimes perplexing) world of emotional intelligence, he asked if he could share something with the group.

Of course!

And then came four words that stopped me in my tracks...

"Connect before you correct."

How good is that?

Four simple words. No complicated leadership model. No fancy PowerPoint slide. Just a wonderfully powerful reminder of what emotionally intelligent leadership is all about.

And I genuinely feel that we could all do with hearing it.

Because here's the thing. We’re often so busy correcting people's behaviour. Fixing mistakes and pointing out what's wrong, that we’ve forgotten to connect with the human being standing in front of us.

And then we wonder why people become defensive, disengaged or even reluctant to speak up.

Seriously?

Yes, we talk a lot about emotional intelligence. About self-awareness through leveraging insight. Understanding our own triggers and recognising the impact that we may have on others.

There’s self-management. Having the impulse control to know when to hit the pause button for ten seconds when we’ve been triggered. Responding rather than reacting.

Then social awareness. Having the empathy to read the room and understand what's really happening in someone else's world, before charging in with our brilliant advice and course corrections.

But these four words bring it all together… Connect before you correct!

Build the relationship before delivering the feedback. Fill the emotional bank account before making a withdrawal. Understand the person better before attempting to change their behaviour.

And no, this isn't about avoiding difficult conversations. Or letting poor performance slide.

Quite the opposite. It's about earning the trust that makes those conversations possible.

I'm so grateful to this leader for sharing his mantra. It deserves to travel well beyond the classroom. And perhaps that's the challenge for all of us?

The next time someone gets something wrong, resist the urge to immediately jump in and fix them.

Be curious. Show some empathy. Make a connection.

Because people are far more likely to listen to someone who genuinely cares about them.

Sometimes, the smartest thing a leader can do before opening their mouth is to firstly open their heart.

Have a wonderful week of building connections before doing course corrections.

Richard Dore
CEO - Director of Partnerships
Proteus Leadership