Celebrating The Great Disconnect

Hi everyone,

This week, while in Melbourne, I caught up with a mate of mine for a drink. He had just recovered from a bout of COVID and was glad to be out in public again.

I asked him how he was feeling generally after a couple of tough years, and his response was, "I feel disconnected." This coming from a guy who had more friends and acquaintances than anyone I know and could talk to anyone in any situation. But he was also a small business owner who struggled to keep his business afloat, like many others, and now he was back on track, so many of those connections he had before had just disappeared.

Like a good coach, I asked him, "how does that make you feel?" To my surprise he said, “Wonderful!”

After some toing and froing, he told me that he had not realised the pressure that he been living under with so many people to please, and then when the business was not doing well, how many acquaintances decided to disappear from his life. But also, how many people he had decided not to reconnect with as well. The point is that his life was very different now and as hard as it had been, his priorities had changed, and he was more content and fulfilled.

Does this sound like you?

Now, I had never really heard him speak like this before, so this conversation meant a great deal to him. On the other hand, it left me disturbed, but reflective, because I too had experienced this disconnect.

But what I was now discovering is that sometimes a disconnect can be a good thing as we prioritise and start to spend our time and energy on the people who mean the most to us and need our support and friendship.

So, I made a list. Yes, it was a lot shorter, but removed the guilt which allowed me to then think about those I care for and how I could reconnect and further develop those relationships.

I am a great believer that some people come into our lives for a season and then we disconnect. That is OK! In fact, it is necessary. Because to stay connected to everyone is in fact not possible or healthy.

So, my challenge to you this week is to identify those who are important to you and start some relationship strengthening activities. The gap we think might be there from people not reconnecting, will soon be filled with those you want to spend time with.

After this deep and meaningful conversation, we clinked our glasses and moved on to the next topic feeling significantly better about life!

Have a great week.

Des Penny
Co-CEO
Proteus Leadership